To 5 Ways You can use to Build your Confidence Back Up.
Have you ever tried to do something but don’t have the guts it takes to do it? Have you ever tried to talk to somebody you know will change your life but your limiting beliefs stopped you right from the get go?
Have you ever tried to talk to a beautiful woman but your thoughts just told you have a very small dick even if you know its not true?
Well here is the good news, all those horrible thoughts you have about yourself can be put under control by building one vital skill, Confidence.
We were all born with confidence but the insecurities and trauma which has been incorporated in the society has made us lose it and we often wonder how to regain it. In this article I have compiled five ways you can use to regain your confidence.
Let go of the need to prove yourself.
Stop seeking approval from whoever you think should notice what you are doing. Nobody owes you anything, and if this helps, nobody spends the rest of their day thinking about you.
People are drifters; their brains keep on wandering all over the place. So they might think about you for like a minute max and then thy go back to think about how sad their life is or how smelly the streets have been lately or how horrible it is that they haven’t had sex in the last God knows how long.
You see this? Most of the time, they don’t even think about you.
If people think ill thoughts about you, then it means they think ill of themselves, they try to project what they feel on the inside to match what they see on the outside.
They might be having a bad day and you happen to be there. So people are just walking emotional imbalance creatures and all that has nothing to do with you.
Trying to prove something to these people is one of the worst disasters you will ever do to yourself. Lets not even mention the act of comparing yourself with them; it’s a complete unfair game you are putting yourself through.
Just be you and don’t try to get into other people’s minds because they think selfish thoughts all day.
Let go of the limiting beliefs.
The trick here is to have an abundance mindset.
Just a simple adjustment on your believe system to rack opportunities instead of constantly finding reasons why things don’t work for you.
You cant keep on convincing yourself that you cant do this because of that or cant go there because I was born here or cant have sex with that guy because am this guy.
All these are a total pile of bulshit that you need to break yourself free of. This is real life and everybody gets what they deserve depending on how they pursue it.
It has nothing to do with where you were born, who you are, what color is your private parts; none of that matters.
All that matters is your level of confidence in yourself and your actions. Nobody full of confidence has ever been turned down on anything. If at all they had to turn you down, they will have to compose themselves to match your level of confidence before they do that.
Manage your expectations.
Express yourself without the intention of wanting to get something from it. Expectations and certainty are the two things often cripple us when we want to pursue something in our daily lives.
We are often scared when we don’t know what to expect.
Little do we know that taking actions in the presence of uncertainty is how we build up the skill of confidence.
You just have to comfort yourself with the fact that you are going to do your best and whatever happens, you gave it all you got.
Our preconceived expectations often get us scared to even start pursuing our targets, we ruminate on the fact that we might fail because of this and the other, not knowing that we can be resourceful when faced with whatever the difficulty.
Therefore, if we manage our expectations and take action anyway as we figure out the rest of the puzzle, we will never be crippled by uncertainty.
Be present at the moment of having a conversation.
Be here right now and not thinking about other things that do not matter to the conversation you are having with someone right now.
Drifting is the enemy of concentration and the more you do it the more you are convinced that people don’t like you, which later makes your confidence go down.
Even if the conversation is boring, you can still wear the shoes of service and intend to be a good listener to whoever you are in a conversation with. The skill of engaging a conversation has never been a bad thing.
If you just master the art of conversation, you will be able to talk to anyone depending on their age. You will be able to know how to switch between talking and listening, your facial response and tonal variation.
People like people who know how to take a conversation to the next level. The overall important thing is to be here in this moment. It is good for your mind and for the person conversing with you.
Get the right balance between playing defense and offence in all areas of your life.
This often boils down to self-awareness.
Whenever you don’t achieve what you had anticipated, you go back to the drawing board and restructure your techniques and styles used for your offence to be strategic. This only works when you interpret failure as an opportunity to learn and not to mean that you are not good enough.
Whenever you don’t hit the target, it means you need to find more information about the target you are pursuing.
Its about learning how your target operates, the principles of its make-up. Once you understand it, then when you come up with your offence strategy, there are minimal chances that it will backfire.
Playing defense (not to lose), also works when you realize that your target needs more than you have, but now you have got that information you stop pursuing it just for the sake of pursuing.
This helps you save time and resources used on this whole process.
At this point you can either let it go or go back to restructuring.